Countdown: Two Weeks

Yes, it's two weeks away. Two weeks until I hop on a plane bound for a land far away, far outside this comfortable bubble I've created for myself.

That bubble has become extraordinarily small lately. I didn't set out to confine myself to three people, but somehow I've stopped talking to everyone. Part of it has to deal with the insane amount of work I've had in the last month; I've had two or three papers/exams every week. But aside from that, I have committed to a real recovery process this time. I don't want to tell myself that happiness means what everyone else thinks it means. I don't want to insist that I fit a mold as I'm trying to figure out who the heck I am. That's what I did the last time I crawled out of the darkness, and all it did was make me feel schizophrenic.

I'm making an effort to look at my life and decide, for myself and without telling myself what I SHOULD want, what is good and what needs to go. Of course, such a binary system doesn't translate well to the messy, gray world we live in, but I'm trying. Some days, I want something in my life, need it, cry about having lost it, and the next I'm screaming in anger and don't want anything to do with it. Half the time, I don't know what I want, don't know what I'm missing because I shove it away; there are papers and exams and chores to deal with first. I'm officially one of those people that doesn't want to enjoy the process, but wants all the answers right now.

So, I've determined a goal for myself while I'm in Turkey: BE CALM. I don't want to seek attention, or try to be funny, or rush myself in any way. I believe that this trip will help my recovery immensely, and I don't want to stress myself out by doing things that annoy me.

I am getting really, really excited about going, though. We got our packet of what to bring and where we're going the other day, and now it's all I can do just to focus on these silly papers and exams I still have to do (though they'll be done on Saturday, thank goodness). Luckily, I picked a blog site that the Turkish government doesn't block completely (it does block Wordpress), and I'll have my laptop and an internet connection, so I can keep you all updated with pictures to boot while I'm there.

Here's the itinerary:
-Istanbul: the Hagia Sophia, the Sultanahmet Mosque, the Ottoman Emperor's Palace, bazaars, and much, much more!
-Bursa: On the northwest coast near Greece, it's Turkey's fourth largest city and home to Turkish baths, Byzantine and Ottoman architecture, and beaches! It was also the western-most point of the Silk Road.
-Ankara: The capital of Turkey and home to Ataturk's mausoleum. It's been conquered by Alexander the Great, the Roman Empire, and the Ottomans. It has monuments to Augustus of Rome, Roman theaters, and the Turkish war of independence.
-Urgup: Home of hotels that are actually caves carved into the mountains.
-Konya: For the Bible dorks, Paul and Barnabus preached here in 47-48 A.D. We'll be visiting the shrine of the great poet, Rumi.
-Denizli: In the southwestern portion of the country, it's home to many ancient historical sites and surrounded by rivers.
-Kusadasi: A resort town on the Mediterranean coast, Mary (as in the mother of Jesus) and St. John the Evangelist came to live here in the early years of Christianity. It has castles, forts, and mosques, and apparently ahideout that Agamemnon used.
-Then back to Istanbul!

Ok, I just looked all that stuff up and now I'm even more excited.

Next week, I delve into packing and running around trying to find everything I need. I can't even imagine the amount of anti-bacterial hand stuff my mother is going to send with me.

Stay tuned for more updates!

And the Spending has Begun....

So, thank you to Beth for forcing me to look up info about the country I'm visiting. Turkey has a fairly robust economy with a combination of agricultural and industrial products. Up to 35% of its products are agricultural. Until recently, it was making substantial gains in its GDP every year.

In a side note, my professor (the one who leads the trip and will here after be referred to as Safi) says that a year ago, people in Istanbul would come up to him once they knew he was an American, say "Bush" in an angry tone of voice and then hock a loogie at his feet. Now, they come up to him and say "Uubama!" and give him the thumbs-up. So, I picked a good time to go in a political sense.

As the title of this post notes, I've started the massive amount of spending this trip will entail. I bought my plane ticket and a whopping $1200 flew out of my bank account. That hurt a little bit. I hate spending money, and this ticket is nonrefundable, so I'm definitely going. Which is scary, because I can't help thinking that something like a civil war or nuclear attack will occur that will keep me from going. Plus, I nearly had to beat up the travel agent to get her to make my name on the ticket match the name on my passport so I wouldn't be accused of being a terrorist when I came back to America from a Middle Eastern country. But all is well now.

I'm currently nervous about the trip. I'm afraid that everyone going won't like me or that they'll be really annoying. I'm worried about money and about being too exhausted from this semester to have fun. I'm sure these are just jitters, but at this point, I can't get too excited without failing the rest of my semester.